You know you are a Pakistani when....

* Your house smells like fried onions.

* When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.

* You make tea in a saucepan.

* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

* You have a 'Singer' sewing machine at home.

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.

* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".

* You hide everything from your parents.

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

* Everyone is a family friend.

* You were not that intelligent so you studied computer science or Business instead.

* You know no one who has studied music.

* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.

* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.

* You like the meat well done.

* You eat onions with everything.

* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.

* You order Pakistani food in English language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.

* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex.

* You secure your baggage with a rope.

* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.

* You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.

* You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

* In addition to cooking, you also use oil as a grooming aid.

* You have annoying nicknames.

* Your parents call all your friends "Beta". (beta=son, beti=daughter)

* Your mother measures wealth only in gold and diamonds.

* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.

* Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.

* If you are living abroad, at least once a week your mom says, "I want to go back to Pakistan".

* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a DOCTOR or ENGINEER.

* While living abroad, your parents always say, "It's cheaper in Pakistan.”

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Last updated 12.7.2008

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